Five Years - Five Days - Five Hours

Today ~August 21st ~ has been a day of reflection which I count more as rehearsal than a rest.

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FIVE YEARS after DEATH. Five years in Heaven!

My Dad has been present with the Lord.

I’ve replayed the events I remember from five years ago. “He will definitely stay with us through the weekend,” the nurse said.

A couple hours later… “Mom, they called, and you need to get to the hospital now.”

The tearful, rushing drive.

The consultation with the doctor and my siblings ended abruptly as more shutting down occurred.

My Mom was frail and recovering from Covid at home - too weak to go to the hospital. Her kind pastor visited her with loving support.

How could I have had faith to this point that he would recover?

The suiting up in yellow paper - hats, gloves, masks, and full body suits due to protocol.

The empathetic nurse, and the one who wasn’t. Neither are forgettable.

The kindness of God to move the staff to allow us into the room one time - and the last time.

The heart-moving music of my brother’s new piano recording playing in my Dad’s ICU room.

The final words of love and gratefulness spoken to him by all his family members individually via phone and some pastor friends. If he did not hear them, I believe God would share them with him in Heaven.

The strength in singing together his favorite songs.

The comfort of knowing our real, living God Who promised to stay even in these death shadows. He did. He is.

The release.

The immediate healing and happiness of my Dad “simultaneously” (one of my Dad’s words when teaching us to drive) with our heart-wrenching goodbye.

Today, I miss him!

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FIVE DAYS after BIRTH!

Today, our newest granddaughter is five days new! She’s beautiful and so sweet!

There’s nothing that can compare with the joy of a new baby! We were blessed with a new grandson last month, and he’s our little man! We’re expecting another granddaughter to be born in a couple months!

Looking into their faces strikes awe in my heart how God, my Heavenly Father, created these beautiful people all wonderfully and uniquely. There’s not a birthmark He doesn’t know about. Our soon-to-be seven grandchildren all have different looks and personalities and gifts. I have a full time job praying for them. If I don’t pray for them as their Grandmomma, who will?

Some of my grandchildren live across the ocean. What do I do with this pain? Call it what it is. It hurts to not be able to look into those gorgeous eyes of my grand darlings or to hold their hand or see their firsts in everyday life.

While my joy heightens with each sweet darling gift, oh how my cares and prayers have increased! Father, keep my darlings from the dogs of sin in this world. Draw them to Yourself early. It’s a continual, deliberate placing of their bright lives into God’s hands. My heart wrestles before the promised rest in the Lord comes. It is like I wake up every morning and open all these gifts entrusted to my love and influence. I say my thank you’s to God—sincerely. Then, I must open each gift box wrapped with the fancy, thick toile wrapping paper. The ribbons are fastened by a Master Artist. I must use scissors, and that takes time. When I open the box and carefully pull out the matching tissue paper, I then lift my gift back to the Lord, figuratively. I cannot grip these gifts to keep them in my boxes, for they are His. He loves them even more than I do.

Grandchildren are precious because we first loved their parents - our own children! Just because they grow up, we still care for them!

Today, my heart is full.

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FIVE HOURS. The In-Between living.

Just about five hours ago, our 5th son checked into his college dorm far away from home.

Oh yes, I’ve been there and done that several times, but each parting (though good in its aim) of each child holds its own grief and concerns. Here are a few:

Sadness that I do not get to see and hug my adult child everyday anymore. (x7)

Heaviness in knowing challenges will come that I won’t be there to cheer him through; I won’t be around to sense his spirit.

Anxiety in knowing all people are not kind or respectful.

Uncertainty of the workloads, the inner and external pressures, and the time management.

Concerns about possible health or financial issues that could arise.

But Gid! God is always there with him. He knows what’s best for him far better than I could know, and I can trust Him to guide him.

So this is today. This is our “in-between “time that we are living between our birth and our death (or the Lord’s return).

Today, I live in-between. Today, I trust.

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All in a day…

I remember my father’s death.

I rejoice in the birth of grandchildren.

I remain aware and prayerful for my adult children.

All these moments…what do I do with all these cares?

“Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.” -I Peter 5:7 KJV

I must intentionally give them to my Heavenly Father with action. Praying - speaking to Him. Reading His Word and listening to Him. Writing about Him. Here are my words to process this day.

All These Moments

All these cares - my Father knows.

He welcomes my poured-out heart.

No condemnation from Him do I feel

For sharing the anxious and sad part.

All these years - my Father stays

In births, in deaths, and in goodbyes

He knows my frame - made of dust

Yet He never wearies of me or sighs.

All these days - my Father watches

Over my loved ones and over me;

He tells me in His written Word that

Every bird He does feed and see.

All these hours - my Father cares

In the good, the hard, the in-between.

He patiently listens and never leaves

By Him, I’m known, heard and seen.

All these minutes - my Father gives

To breathe His air, to live and share

All His good and perfect gifts to me

His child - His image and name I bear.

All these moments - my Father allows

The highs - the lows - and the ordinary-

Filtered through His sieve of eternal love

For my station on earth is temporary.

All these words - my Father helps me

Write of birth, death, and the in-between

Gifts to me to share with fellow pilgrims

That at all times, it is our Father we need.

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In my Dad’s DEATH, I celebrate his eternal LIFE in Heaven. My Dad knew the Giver of Life as His Savior.

John 10:10

In my granddaughter’s BIRTH, I celebrate new LIFE here on earth. I know the Creator of life, and He knows and loves each of His creations.

In my children’s LIVES, I celebrate LIFE now. .. on this journey between birth and death. God blessed me to be the mom of nine fine, amazing people! I have a living God Who loves them more than I ever could.

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In all your cares, and in all your moments, He cares for you too!

If you would like a printable 8x10 pdf of the poem “All These Moments,” contact me and I’ll send it your way.

With Morning Joy,

Jeri Lynn