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Brawling, Contentious, Angry

Proverbs 21:9 “It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house.”

Proverbs 21:19 “It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and angry woman.”

Brawling– quarrelsome

Contentious – Apt to contend; given to angry debate; quarrelsome; perverse.

Proverbs 27:15 “A continual dropping in a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike.”

Angry – 1. Feeling resentment; provoked; followed generally by with before a person.

2. Showing anger; wearing the marks of anger; caused by anger; as, an angry countenance; angry words.

3. Inflamed, as a sore; red; manifesting inflammation.

4. Raging; furious; tumultuous. -(Webster’s 1828 Dictionary)

Proverbs 22:24 “Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go.”

As much as a woman does not desire to be friends with an angry man, so a man does not desire to dwell with a brawling, contentious, or angry woman.

How does the love story turn angry?

Hurtful words and deeds not dealt with properly (ignored, brushed under the rug, self-excused, justified…) are left to simmer in the heart pot brewing a bitter soup. The Bible is very clear that matters should be resolved before you go to sleep at night. It seems to be easier to keep the external commands such as church attendance or giving our tithe each week than it is to follow this very important daily – internal command. It is to our detriment if we do not heed it.

Ephesians 4:26-27, 29-31 “Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: Neither give place to the devil. Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers. And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption. Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:

I would not generally classify myself as a brawling, contentious and angry woman as I despise quarrels, debates and manifestations of anger in others, but when I look at the definitions, I know I have been these women at times. Undoubtedly, I have had cause to be angry as we all have, but I have yet to master being angry at the sin – not at the sinner.

When looking into the mirror of God’s Word, these are a few things I am working on and asking God to help me with. I think they will help me in my pursuit to avoid being a brawling, contentious or angry woman.

  1. Forgiveness. A recent definition I heard on the radio was “giving up the right to hurt the one who hurt me.” Pray “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.”

  2. Love. How often I tell my family members and friends that I love them, yet I want to love like Jesus loves – not just love when everybody’s lovely. How does God see this person? How would Jesus speak to this wayward one? Has He ever forced me to serve Him? Did He sacrifice for me – so unworthy of His love?

  3. The Holy Spirit. God is with me. The Holy Spirit dwells within me, and is ready and waiting for me to consult Him to help me love, forgive, give of myself, counsel, teach, speak, write, be a witness, be a friend, etc.

  4. Counsel. For a time, I was misled to believe that counsel was silly – a waste of time. How many times does Proverbs speak of the wisdom found in seeking counsel? The New Testament also speaks of older women teaching the younger women. I encourage each lady to find Godly counsel. God did not intend for us to walk through life alone.

  5. Truth. I’m at a point in my life that my beliefs have been challenged – put through the sifter of Truth, so-to-speak. Does this line up with God’s Word?

  6. Words. Words are more important than we give them credit for. They give life or kill. I want to “minister grace” to others by my words – spoken or written.

  7. Friendship. This is another area that I heard was not important, but thankfully, I never caved to it. I value my God-given friends. The right kind of friends strengthen us in our walk with God. Two cups of coffee/tea shared, a Sonic Drive-In “Coke” in the car, and a porch swing to sit and chat on are rare treasures in our busy Christian lifestyle.

A woman who is living Ephesians 4:32 will not be classified as a woman found in Proverbs 21:9 and 19.

Ephesians 4:32 "And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.”

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