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My Defence as a Pastor’s Wife

Updated: Feb 18, 2023

Strong's Concordance says of the word defence : "figuratively, a protector; also the scaly hide of the crocodile."

Wow! God can give me the crocodile hide I need to enter the church as the pastor's wife. You may gasp?! A pastor's wife admitting she gets hurt at church? How could this be? Does she know how bad this makes her look to be honest?

Either we are honest or we aren't.

This is not a post to belabor the church hurt that ministry wives are bound to experience at some point, but I will emphasize that it is a real issue - unbeknownst to many and also known to some who ignore it. If a pastor's wife does not have a trusted person to bounce these infractions off of, she is in a very vulnerable place. A pastor's wife usually carries grief for others that she cannot share with all the church. This can be deeply lonely and wearing.

Every pastor's wife has different darts of discouragement to dodge because every pastor's wife is married to a different man with a different makeup in a different church with different needs in a different community in different seasons of life. There is no "one size fits all" solution to thicken up that skin. There may be a point where the hide has been worn down so thin that godly outside help is needed. Get it! As believers, we are to guard our hearts. The enemy desires nothing less than our utter demise. He is out to destroy not just you, but those you love in your own family and in your church family. Be alert and be vigilant!

"Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life." -Proverbs 4:23 KJV

God cannot bless the darts of excuses: "that's just how they are" or " that's how I am" or "that's how it's always been" or "that's how I've always done it"- these limit the Holy One Who has all power. We need Him to change us all. We are all to be continually maturing spiritually, not content to be set in our ways, but learning and following His.

Either we are growing to become more like Christ, or we aren't.

How is God's glory measured? Is there liberty of spirit? Is there individual accountability? Is there peace? Is there genuine love? Is there community life together? Is there freedom in fellowship?

Claim this truth of Psalm 7:10 KJV:

"My defence is of God, which saveth the upright in heart."

God knows every single word spoken and every deed done - all the good and all the bad. He is not oblivious to anything, and He knows exactly what's going on in your life. Ask Him for crocodile hide, and if that gets worn thin, ask Him to show you the path to biblical intervention. Seek godly counsel.

Church should not be merely a tradition or a game. It should be a refreshing drink of water in a dry land. Sometimes, it is not; and the dart of dryness parches long. In these times, stay really close to God, the only One worthy of worship. The church is to honor Christ above all. The church is the bride of Christ, and He loves us - the church.

Either we want to glorify God, or we don't.

"Not unto us, O Lord, not unto us, but unto thy name give glory, for thy mercy, and for thy truth's sake." - Psalm 115:1 KJV


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